Families probably spend more time and energy planning for a
Bar or Bat Mitzvah than any other life cycle event. From the
time they receive a date until the day the momentous
occasion occurs, much effort and emotion on the part of the
families are invested in the success of the special day. But
what does success mean? How is it measured, if it is
measured at all?
When a child ascends the
Bimah on his Bar Mitzvah or her Bat Mitzvah day, it is
really the culmination of a process that has been in
existence for several years. When the children enter
Religious School in Aleph, third grade, they begin learning
their Hebrew letters and vowels. With practice both in
school and at home, by the end of Bet, fourth grade,
students should be comfortable functionally reading Hebrew
words and sentences. The key here is practice. Attendance at
Junior Congregation services on Shabbat morning and Friday
evening services also leads to greater comfort with Hebrew
language.
When the children enter the
Gimel class, they receive a CD which has the required
prayers they will need to know for their Bar or Bat Mitzvah,
regardless of whether it will be held on Shabbat morning or
afternoon or a Sunday morning holiday or Rosh Hodesh. At
this point attendance at services becomes more critical,
because children need to become more comfortable with the
Friday evening service and the service that will mirror
their Bar or Bat Mitzvah service. Even though many prayers
are introduced during their school sessions during the week,
reinforcement at Shabbat services is extremely helpful.
The children begin more
formal training eight to ten months prior to their actual
Bar Mitzvah date. For some that is during their Dalet year,
sixth grade, while for others it may be early in their Hei
year, seventh grade. The children have six prayer study
sessions with other children who have similar prayer
requirements. When they finish classes they begin private
one-on-one tutoring sessions with a trainer to work on their
Torah and Haftarah portions, if applicable. They are issued
a computer program to help them with their studies. Weekly
lessons continue up to the week of the Bar or Bat Mitzvah.
Rehearsals are held in the sanctuary prior to the actual Bar
or Bat Mitzvah day to help bring together all of the
elements of the service for the family, as well as for the
child.
Returning to the questions
in the opening paragraph, every family and child has their
own definition of success. In business terms families now
measure their return on their investment. The investment is
mainly one of time. Time for practice and attendance at
services are the primary commitments needed for the Bar or
Bat Mitzvah child to perform both successfully and
comfortably on the Bimah. The more comfortable a child is,
the less nervous they are, and fewer mistakes are likely to
be encountered.
As Cantor, I am always
available to help any family before, during and after this
special day.
Cantor Paul Frimark
